I wonder if the amount of time you’ve been missing someone is an indication of how much you care about them.
I’ve found that when thinking about someone, and missing them, if you can’t think of any specific thing, it tends to just be nostalgia. But when you can think of a million different things, some tiny and some big and a few in between, it’s not that at all.
You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.
I think you’re so wonderful and I’ve always looked up to you and I don’t know if you really know that although I’m sure you could’ve picked up on it. Your happiness makes me happy and I still always think of you when I need a little inspiration or solace. So I really don’t want you to worry. A big reason I hesitate to talk about my head and all in real life is because it makes me feel very whiny because I know I have a wonderful, beautiful life. I’m just working on re-learning how to enjoy it as much as I always have. But I have faith that I will. And having people like you in my life reminds me of all the things I seem to lose sight of. It’s a total blessing. And I know you have your bad days too. So I hope when those days come around you remember that and know that I’m certainly not the only person that feels that way. You are so loved for every little piece of yourself and can have such a great influence on those around you. So thanks. I miss you and I hope this was satisfactorily ineloquent.
every day. All the time.
I am so very tired
I am so very tired of desperately needing to talk to someone and not wanting to or feeling like I can talk to anyone. I know there are people who will listen but I can’t get over my own guilt. I feel guilty for everything and I feel guilty for feeling anything but happy. I find myself having these brief moments where I feel good but it’s always cut off short. I wasn’t always like this. I was NEVER like this.
I need to figure out what I need to do. There’s no way I’ll last very long like this.